An electronic music ghost producer has claimed that “you can’t teach talent but you can buy it” while pitching an album to Hannah Wants.
The ghost producer, who has asked to remain anonymous, claims that money, and not talent, is the most important thing for any aspiring artists in the music industry.
“These days being talented really isn’t all that important,” claimed the ghost producer, who had a white sheet pulled over his head to protect his anonymity. “If there are any parents out there who think their kid may have some musical talent and they’re thinking of getting them an instrument or some equipment; I’d tell them to stop and maybe think about giving them some money instead, that way they’ll be able to save up and buy some music of someone like me.”
“Don’t get me wrong, talent is very important,” explained the ghost producer. “If it wasn’t for talented people like me no one would ever make it in the industry, but, thanks to people like me, total chumps, like Steve Aoki or Hardwell, can make it in the industry with minimal talent, I’m basically like a musical god who’s punishing everyone for being cunts by making music for a pack of dick drips.”
“Practice makes perfect, I learnt that the hard way, by practicing, but it’s not the only thing that makes perfect, money makes me make perfect,” revealed the asshole, sorry the ghost producer. “I’ll take cash, cheques or credit cards, I’m not fussy and I can produce pretty much any genre and I’ve got absolutely no morals, I’ll make music for anyone if the price is right, I’m actually working on a Gary Glitter remix of a Rolf Harris song at the moment, it’s sounding really good too.”
