A man who was watching the music video for seminal Apex Twin track Windowlicker for the first time has claimed that he “definitely still would” bang one of the sexualised trolls from the seminal video.
Peter Stevens, a ninteen year old sales assistant, claimed that he was a little apprehensive after first seeing the circus freak styled heads but after some calculated consideration he came to the conclusion that he “definitely still would”.
“It was a bit of a weird one,” claimed Stevens during a catch up with Wunderground. “The video was really captivating from the start with the two homeboys sitting in the car so nearly instantly I was interested, then the bitches in bikinis appeared so straight away it went from being interesting to fucking amazing.”
“For a minute I thought it was gonna be another Christina Aguilera Dirrty moment but then the camera shifted and the girls had those ugly heads on them,” continued Stevens, a self confessed “monster porn” fan. “It was fairly confusing because they were really hot but their faces looked like a cross between Ian Dowie and Joleon Lescott.”
“At first I was like ‘ah that’s horrible’ but the more I thought about it the more I started to realise that as long as you’ve got a banging pair of tits and some sweet ass, having an orc’s face doesn’t really matter,” surmised Steven’s, who claims to have earmarked the video for his “wank bank”. “There are actually a few girls who live around my way that look quite a bit like that anyway so it’s really not a big deal.”
“Theoretically, if I was to bang one of those Windowlicker trolls it definitely wouldn’t even be the ugliest bird I’ve ever been with,” revealed Stevens.
“Probably not even bottom three,” he added.
According to friends of Mr. Stevens, the sales assistant would “get up on anything” having once been caught wanking to a picture of the Statue of Liberty during a geography lesson in secondary school.
