A young couple who claimed their relationship would “go the distance” back home after getting together in Magaluf, are believed to on the verge of breaking up, having realised they actually hate each other.
Nineteen year olds Daniel Parker and Jessica Bonner, who fell in love in Magaluf’s world famous night club BCM, are said to be finally realising that they aren’t “love’s young dream”, or a “modern day Romeo and Juliet”; and are in fact just another two regular youngsters who got “far too drunk” in Europe’s STD capital.
“She was so fit on holiday but back home she’s proper minging and has a well jarring accent,” claimed an annoyed Daniel. “I met her on my first night and we spent the whole two weeks together. At the time I thought she was the best thing to ever happen to me, but now I’m just fucked off that I didn’t get to shag any different birds out there. On holiday she was a good laugh and a right dirty fuck but back home she’s a moany old cunt ad boring in bed. I’m so glad we live two hundred miles apart as I don’t even need to dump her, I can just not text back and eventually she’ll give up. She’s hardly going to come to my house is she.”.
Wunderground managed to speak to Jessica to find out if her opinions matched those of Daniel, “The kid is a prick,” she confirmed. “He was such a happy, generous, playful bloke in Magaluf. In England he’s a little geek. I visited him and he’s a proper XBox addict. He expected me to watch him play his computer for nine hours, then jump in bed with him for half an hour before he went back online. He is so fucking boring and selfish. I am so glad I’ve finally sobered up and realised he’s a waste of space. I couldn’t wait to get home. Never again am I going to get involved with someone on holiday. It’s my own fault for thinking it’d be the same as in Maga.”
