A young dance music fan, who reportedly has no musical aspirations whatsoever, is considered “weird” by his friends for not having even the slightest ambition to become a DJ.
James Crawford made the shocking admission to friends at a house party when one of his friends suggested that he’d “show him a few things on Traktor” explaining that it made DJing “piss easy” but James insisted that he had no urge to learn how to mix, saying “just because someone’s a big dance music fan doesn’t mean that they have to automatically become DJs and learn how to mix.”
“What kind of weirdo doesn’t want to learn how to mix,” asked Alex, the friend who attempted to teach James how to mix. “It’s just so not the done thing. Everyone wants to be a DJ don’t they? I thought that was true but now I’m not so sure. I don’t know if I can trust someone who has such a lack of motivation.”
James, who is planning on attending medical school next year with a view to becoming a doctor, claims that not wanting to be a DJ is perfectly normal and that he shouldn’t be ostracised because of it. “When I’m at raves and I tell people that I actually don’t know how to DJ they act like I’ve told them I don’t know how to ride a bike or use a door handle properly or wipe my own arse. But I can wipe my own arse.”
“It’s always the ones you least suspect,” asserted a bemused Alex. “I don’t know how he can look himself in the mirror. He’s so selfish to waste his life becoming a doctor. It’s basically social suicide. I mean I have friends who can’t DJ but they’re either learning how to or girls so it’s different.”
“I just can’t believe it,” commented James’ mother, Carol. “I think I’m going to be physically sick. You try your best to do right by your kids so that they’ll grow up to make the right choices but then they can just turn around and throw it back in your face by becoming a doctor like some common pleb.”
“I dread to think how well adjusted and happy he’ll be working in some highly paid private hospital,” Carol wept. “It breaks my heart that he’s throwing away the chance to struggle as a local DJ for the best part of a decade before giving up and getting a menial job as a labourer. If his father was alive he’d be so ashamed of him right now.”
