Zero Important People In VIP Area

A recent survey carried out in a nightclub VIP area found that there was a grand total of zero important people present at the time of the survey.

According to sources, the VIP area in question was populated by a mix of chancers, blaggers and wannabe VIPs.

Wunderground spoke to Armin de Roum about the survey’s findings, “Anyone who has ever been to a VIP area will agree that these finding’s are completely unsurprising,” he told us. “So we decided to carry out a survey and officially prove that VIP areas are one hundred percent devoid of important people.”

“What we did find in the VIP area was a very eclectic mix of people who shouldn’t be there at all, some of them knew they shouldn’t be there while some of them have their heads so far up their own asses that they really believe they belong there,” continued de Roum. “It really is an interesting mix and leads to some very colourful confrontations.”

“The most common out of place person we found in the VIP area were definitely DJs,” claimed our source. “I’m not talking about the DJs who are playing on the night, even though they’re just people who get paid to play music to a crowd, they are kind of important to the vibe in the place and they really should be out front playing not hanging around the VIP area, I’m talking about DJs you’ve never heard of, who somehow managed to blag their way in and are trying to brown nose their way to some more paid gigs.”

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“Then we have the people who actually believe they’re supposed to be there,” he explained. “These are the people who the DJs are brown nosing. This feeds into their heightened sense of self-worth and they’ll probably tell the DJs they can get them on some line-ups as an exercise in ego-boosting. It’s a vicious cycle.”

“Then we’ve got the people who know they don’t belong there, they probably just know someone, sneaked in or won a competition,” he continued. “They’re easy enough to spot, they’ll either be knees deep in the DJ’s rider or taking a selfie with one of the previously mentioned wannabes.”