Clubbing

Middle Aged Bloke Who Hates “Young Cunts” Secretly Desperate For Their Approval

A middle aged man who claims to hate the “young cunts” he comes across in his social life is secretly desperate for their approval.

Peter O’Neill, a thirty six year old Irishman who still regularly visits nightclubs, claims that young people today have no respect for clubbing culture and believes they treat anyone over the age of twenty one with complete disdain.

“I remember back when I was a youngster we had a little bit of respect for clubs, DJs and the ravers’ whose footsteps we were following in,” claimed a fairly miffed Mr O’Neill earlier on today. “You don’t see that level of respect being handed out by the young crowd in clubs today, not at all. They’re all iPhones this and Instagram that. The little brats. They should show some respect for the DJ and put their electronic devices back in their pockets for a couple of hours.”

“The problem with the young cunts that you see out and about these days is that they’re spoiled rotten,” continued Mr O’Neill, who celebrates his thirty seventh birthday next month. “Back in my day if you wanted something you had to go out and work for, there was no cheap list or free entry before twelve if you comment on the Facebook event page, back then we all payed full price and we appreciated the clubs a lot more because of it.”

“When we went to clubs in my days we had a laugh, done a few pills, had a couple of drinks and just enjoyed ourselves,” he explained. “Now all the kids do is make snide comments about anyone who’s over the age of twenty one and make fun of my dance moves. Don’t they know that I’ve been raving for almost twenty years, I could tell them some really cool stories if they’d just let me.”

“The worst thing about them is that they never invite me back to any of their after parties, I bet they’re really cool too, with loads of really hot girls. If they just got to know me they’d see how cool I am, and I’m not a student so I can afford to buy loads of coke and share it with them, if only they’d give me a chance.”

According to the youth of today, people who still go to night clubs after the age of twenty five are “like, totally embarrassing” and would be better off “staying at home and looking after their kids, and stuff”.

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