We’re not sure whether we’re just getting into the spirit of the season, or simply overcome with excitement due to the fact that Wunderground is an official partner of the next installment of Snowboxx Festival, which takes place between 17 – 24 March 2018 in Avoriaz, France, but at Wunderground HQ we’re currently getting really excited about snow, not just because you can ski on it, for all of its many uses.
Snow has long been one of the world’s most versatile natural substances. From Eskimos using it to build their igloos to ancient Irish Druids using it to cool their drinks shortly after the last ice age ended, snow has long been the gift that just keeps giving. Some people believe that all life on the planet evolved from a single snowflake but, then again, some people also believe the world is flat, so let’s not pay too much attention to idiots.
Instead, we’re going to celebrate snow’s diversity with a list of just five of its millions of uses.
Back in the days before everyone smoked tobacco or eCigs, everyone smoked snow. Statistically speaking, smoking-related deaths were 100% lower than they are today, although cases of hypothermia and drowning were at an all-time high. Here at Wunderground, we long for the days of good old-fashioned snow smoking, let’s bring those glory days back!
Cool Your Electronic Gadgets
Watching movies, or let’s be honest, porn, in bed on a laptop can often lead to overheated electronic equipment. It’s a pretty common problem. To beat this, all you need to do is swap your bed for a massive pile of snow. Now you’ll be able to use electronic gadgets in bed to your heart’s content without the worry. You’ll also never need to worry about wetting the bed again either, as you’ll wake up in a massive puddle of water every single day.
Snow is, without a single solitary doubt, the densest material known to man. This makes snow one of the greatest soundproofing materials ever. Rumour has it the world’s first ever superclub, which was a Viking owned techno theatre in Iceland, was completely made of snow and never had one noise complaint. If we were you, we’d be soundproofing our houses with snow straight away.
Anyone who has ever seen the cartoon The Snowman will know that not only are snowmen fun to build but they’re also really good companions. Forget about cats and dogs, snowmen are now officially man’s best friend. They have all of the advantages of a regular pet except when these guys crap out your back garden you get to have a snowball fight.
Who Needs A Remote?
Here at Wunderground HQ we’re sick of wasting time looking for remote controls. Fuck that. From now on, we’ve decided to control our television by pinging snowballs at it. If we run out of snow we’ll use ice cubes and if we run out of those we’ll just paint some rocks white. Nobody’s got time for that shit.
Hopefully, after reading this guide, you’ll be a little bit more open to snow and it’s various different uses. If you would like to get some solid practice in with snow this coming March, or you’d just like to come and party with Wunderground while listening to Fatboy Slim, Chase & Status DJ set, Mark Knight, Max Chapman and Second City on the side of a French Mountain, click here for more information and tickets on Snowboxx.