Snow festivals are great! Nothing brightens up the winter months quite like getting away from everything for a few days of fun and frolics on the slopes. This year Wunderground has the proud honour of being an official partner of Snowboxx Festival which takes place between 17 and 24 March 2018 in the beautiful setting of Avoriaz, France.
We’re really excited to go and drink DJ’s riders on the side of a mountain and hopefully we’ll see some of you, our readers, there too. It’s actually the perfect opportunity for you to come and tell us we’re dickheads. Surely that alone is worth the price of a ticket? So, to help us all get in the mood for a little on-piste action, we’ve knocked up a list of the six types of people you’ll meet at a snow festival, so you know what you’re letting yourself in for when you buy a ticket.
The Bloke who almost made it as a pro snowboarder
Every snow festival has at least one of these guys. They’re pretty fucking annoying and also quite dangerous, if you see something moving down the mountain quicker than Usain Bolt at a chicken nugget sale, you can be sure it’s this guy. You better get out of his way because he won’t be stopping for anyone.
The Insta-Snow Bunny
You might not think it but a freezing cold mountain is actually the perfect place to bare a little flesh for that Insta-post that’ll really make you stand out from the crowd. Often mistaken for contortionists because of the way they bend to make sure they get the entire mountain into their selfie, the Insta-Snow Bunny is always spotted at a snow festival.
The Way-Too-Drunk For Skiing Bloke
At a snow festival, you can always count on at least one person to drink their own body weight in alcohol, make a total dick of themselves and then pass out face down in a pile of yellow snow. They can usually be seen struggling to climb onto a ski lift like a geriatric Spiderman trying to escape from a giant bathtub. This is worth the ticket money alone.
The “What’s Skiing?” Girl
It’s hard to imagine that someone can end up on the side of a mountain, in a ski resort, surrounded by snow and be completely oblivious to their surroundings. Well it definitely happens, you can be sure that there’ll be at least one “what’s skiing?” girl at every snow festival. She’ll eventually get into the spirit and do some late night drunken snowboarding, on an ironing board in her chalet.
The Guy Who Thinks He Can Ski
What’s red and white and tumbles down a mountain quicker than a goat who’s been eating fermented berries? No, it’s not Ed Sheeran on a broken down skimobile, it’s the bloke who presumed he could ski despite having never tried it before. You’ll see plenty of these guys hanging out near the paramedics, you could give their spirits a lift by signing their leg cast.
The Shivering Dude
The rattling jaws of people who didn’t go to snow festivals prepared for the cold are often mistaken for drum and bass stages in the distance. Do not get let their sultry rhythm draw you in or you’ll be left standing in a cold street, dancing in front of a guy with icicles dangling off his nose.
If you think you would fit as seamlessly into a snow festival as any of the characters above or you would simply like to attend this year’s Snowboxx to laugh at drunk people slipping in the snow and listen to the likes of Fatboy Slim, Chase & Status DJ Set, Max Chapman and Secondcity on a French mountain, click here for more information and tickets.