Reports today indicate that a marketing rival for the popular celebration of buying physical formats of music, Record Store Day, is being quickly rushed through development just in time to compete with the corporate beast.
Record Store Year is the latest marketing gimmick designed to get customers to attend record stores, or record shops, as are they are more widely known, every day of the year.
Geoff Peele the acting Vice president of RSY said this afternoon that, “people have come to accept that record stores can only be open on one day a year and at all over other times music MUST be downloaded or they will be punished with a fine similar to the TV license. We are trying to get the message out to people through the internet and our very popular Ceefax page that this is not the case and that record shops can be open for more than one day at a time.”
Industry commentators claim that this is a “wise move by Geoff and an idea [they] really think could catch on,” while Geoff further outlined his vision, “imagine being able to buy vinyl everyday or even once a week, and not on a day as arbitrary as the 19th April or even worse, one dictated by uncool corporate bullies that make it difficult for one day stores to operate”.
“The problems these one day shops encounter having to negotiate a 24 lease for the premises, employing staff on a one day contract and having an influx of shellac, acetate and vinyl audiophiles invading your personal space is just not on,” continued Geoff. “They all turn up in that one day, how can that be right? We believe moving to a system of the shops being open every day and vinyl being sold on every day even the Sabbath day, but not on the more important and better Christmas, will be good for everyone.”
Launching on the 18th of April, a day before Record Store Day on the 19th, has been hailed as a masterstroke by industry insiders who insist that the concept of having a record store “open all year” could completely change the way people buy music.
“Record Store Year will revolutionise the market and it’s something we are very excited about,” concluded Geoff. “There will be a brief hiatus every year for one minute on the last day so we can launch the next RSY. Eventually we hope shops will adopt the model set up by Tesco and open 24hrs everyday and maybe even bring in home deliveries to lazy people on the outskirts of the city or shipped via some kind of mail delivery system. The possibilities are endless.”<
That page must be very popular, considering nobody can use Ceefax anymore! đ