Police services across Ireland and the U.K. have issued a warning over a “super strong” batch of ketamine that is currently in circulation which is believed to be stronger than both the horse and rhino varieties of the party drug, having been designed expressly for use on dinosaurs.
The batch itself, looks like normal ketamine, but is said to be up to ten times “more powerful” and nearly fifty times “better for getting a wobble on” according to anecdotal evidence from users.
So far no-one has been seriously injured from the use of the “dino-Ket” or “K-Rex”, but police are warning people to “take little bumps” first to make sure that you can handle the “absolutely prehistoric K-holes” that the drug is said to induce.
“It’s the same ketamine that they used to tranquilize dinosaurs on the island of failed theme park Jurassic Park,” claimed a spokesperson. “So while it didn’t stop the dinosaur rampage that engulfed that island it will be extremely effective on smaller animals like deep house fans.”
“It has been known at doses to knock out stegosauruses,” explained the expert, “but will be less effective on larger dinosaurs like brontosauruses or tyrannosaurus rex’s.”
“Stegosauruses, being docile herbivores just get nicely flaked and enjoy the wobble,” continued the expert. “But if you injected a tyrannosaurus rex with it they’ve been known to just put on some tech-house and do air-piano with their tiny arms while swaying for a few minutes. Almost immediately after it wears off though it’ll almost certainly try to kill and eat you again.”
If you think that you or someone you know may have bought some dino-K then police urge you to “keep some of it in case any roaming dinosaurs have escaped Jurassic Park and are breeding on a lost world, in which case you may need the ketamine for more than recreation”.
Wtf. Never heard of it
Bullshit. why would anyone be making tranquilizers (that’s what KET is if you didn’t know) for dinosaurs. KET is a dangerous drug but utter lies like this send out the wrong message.
I agree John, completely the wrong message. Dinosaurs never existed anyway, they’re like fairies, leprechauns, well spoken geordies, and other mythical creatures!
dinosaurs never existed??? i think that comment is even more idiotic than people thinking this was real, i mean atleast any normal person knows that dinosaurs did actually exist millions of years ago, if not, then wtf were the bones and skeletons e.t.c i have seen in the history museum?? lmfao retard
The bones you have seen were likely the remnants from when whales used to walk the earth, before whale obesity became such a problem that they took to the water to relieve the stress on their tired ankles.
Hahaha Brilliant!
Oh look, another person who doesn’t recognize satire when they see it.
Pretty sure he was being sarcastic as the idiot on the previous comment doesn’t get it. Do you???
Plus everyone knows Jurassic Park is based on a real story, just like paranormal activities
I’m amazed people like you exist.
Dad was right, I will be a millionaire.
well when you are a millionaire
@conserativemind12 make sure you get your face fixed. and @butrousbutrous:disqus lutrous…. wtf are you on about mate. you been on the ket again?
Butrous Butrous is patronising you John, do you know what that means? It’s when you talk down to people who don’t understand…
You’re actually so thick that you made an ad hom comment about my face when you can’t even see it. Oh but wait, I can see your face though… not really in a position to be handing out insults like that are you?
How do you remember to breathe?
Because Jurassic Park!
http://i.imgur.com/F636xiP.gif
You know this is a joke news site, right?
hope u all realise this is a joke right ?? idiots
What is a “joke?”
Amazing!
The comments are more amazing than this obviously realistic article… I love life.
lol im prettttty sure this is as fake as articles get hahaha
I don’t do drugs unless they are over the counter Ibuprofen or prescription drugs… But this is making me want try this version of it hahaha .. I want be a Stao-Maxy-Saurus!
I can tell you this is real.. not the dino part.. but the extremely strong ket is. At an after party I had mistaken myself.. I thought I had bag of coke left, so I took e few lines, after 10 sec I knew I was wrong, And after that U cannot imagine! A Khole that lasted at least 3/4h, dreams so vivid, seeing myself die & gedding reborn, and taken to other places accompanied by aliens and stuff, and the weird part was, It didn’t feel strange or scary. I was at peace with my self and with the world like never before.
ip traced. the police will see u soon
lol