A teenager who took ten tablets of ecstasy at once and is currently fighting for his life in a local intensive care unit has been roundly praised and acknowledged as a “legend” by his friends and peers.
Nineteen year old Steven Philips from Liverpool was partying with friends at an illegal underground dance music club when he was dared by friends to “take all the e’s” that one of his friends had been holding in his hand.
“It was a dare,” explained Steven’s friend and fellow posturing caricature of a lad, Daniel. “I knew he’d do it cause he’s a lad like and not some little gay cunt that’d ever back down. Turned out I had about ten of em in my hand and he just knocked em back with a pint of Guinness.”
“Necking em with the Guinness was a nice touch,” he added.
“He’s lucky to be alive, the legend, he’s hilarious,” continued Daniel. “The doctors are saying that if he doesn’t die then he might be in hospital for a really long time and have permanent brain damage. Which is just like him, what a mad egg. Everyone round here worships him now and we’re going to start doing grams of coke at once to see if one of us can go harder than him.”
Daniel claimed that Steven probably should have died from taking that many pills but because they were the “blue ghosts” variety of pills, which according to Daniel are “shite”, that Steven took he escaped certain death. “If he’d of gotten the pills off of me he’d defo be dead,” he added.
“Everyone’s talking bout it on Facebook and saying how much of a total and utter legend he is, I’m kind of jealous.”
“Most I’ve ever done was a quadruple drop, but never a decuple drop,” concluded Daniel. “We’re not even sure if it was ten, it was more of a handful-nom drop so could have been more. Fucking amazing. Champion.”
Glad to see the rest of my generation doing us proud. Utter idiots. Natural selection at its best. Daniel; if you’re jealous take 20 for me please. Cheers dickhead.
You do realise this is a joke post, right?
someone needs a yoke