Heat magazine has reported that for the last four years EDM lothario Calvin Harris has been enjoying steamy romps with his own ego.
Unbeknownst to former lover Rita Ora the EDM star has been having a rip roaring affair with his own ego, indulging in “hours long sessions” of what Calvin described as “me time”.
The sessions were said to include, gazing at his own reflection while lathering warm suds on himself, wanking over magazine stories involving his success and a beach holiday where he was seen rolling in the surf hugging himself tightly.
“It’s been a bit of an open secret that Calvin and himself have been in love for years,” claimed a source. “If you look at the way he carries himself so lovingly and nurtures his ego you can see that. He lets his ego do whatever it wants and it’s because he’s so desperately in love with it.”
“He’s the love of his life,” added the source. “It’s whirlwind romance between a man and his psychological construct.”
Calvin, seen here fucking loving himself, was understood to have treated his ego to expensive clothes, jewelry and holidays, even going so far as to introduce it to his parents.
The EDM star was unavailable for comment when approached for an interview he merely said “no comment”, but the sexy glint in his eye and tub of moisturizing cream peeking out of his record bag led this reporter to suspect that he had just been with himself in a nearby public bathroom.
Reports suggest that Calvin is completely over Rita and is planning on going to town on himself full time, with Heat magazine claiming that the DJ intends to be the first person in the history of the world to marry himself.
