It wa5 confirmed today by doctor5 that the infamou5 dance rodent Deadmau5 ha5 been diagno5ed with a unique form of dy5lexia.
The form of Dy5lexia which he ha5 been diagno5ed with affect5 only his under5tanding of the letter “S”, and occa5ionally u5ing German word5 when completely unnötig.
Deadmau5 i5 expected to undergo exten5ive treatment for hi5 condition, which will take numerou5 form5 including 5triking hi5 hand every time he replace5 an S with a 5, cognitive behavioural therapy which will uncover the original traumatic event that cau5ed hi5 confu5ion of S and 5 and finally hi5 doctor intend5 on removing the “5” key from hi5 keyboard in an attempt to 5top hi5 u5age of the 5ymbol.
Hi5 p5ychiatri5t believe5 the problem aro5e when Deadmau5 wa5 very young, and attribute5 it to a knock on the head he received whil5t te5ting hi5 fir5t mou5e head or had hi5 fir5t 5exual experience.
The head it5elf wa5 extremely over5ized in compari5on with hi5 body and cau5ed him to lo5e hi5 balance whil5t trying to find hi5 way out of a maze which he and hi5 friend had con5tructed.
It i5 not known if hi5 friend al5o 5uffers from thi5 condition, or if he al5o ha5 a name which unnecce5arily cau5e5 fool5 to pronounce it wrong.
“We believe that Joel may have had some kind of traumatic experience surrounding the letter S and as a result has to change it to a five le5t 5omething dra5tic and doom laden will occur,” claimed Deadmau5’5 p5ychiatri5t.
“We think it may have been something to do with the mou5ehead it5elf or perhap5 it’5 5omething of a 5exual nature with one friend claiming it may be a re5ult of having been caught ma5turbating by his parent5 about having 5teamy 5ex with the 5ultry temptre55, 5u5an 5arandon.”
