A local man from the remote Cornish village Porthcurno has angered his friends by claiming that EDM is the new underground.
Simon Platt, who lists his hobbies as annoying people, starting fires and sticking knives in toasters, is known locally as the village idiot and made the shocking statement after overhearing friends talk about the current state of the electronic music industry.
“Me and a few of the lads were just sitting around smoking a few blunts and trying to figure out who’s the biggest dickhead out of Calvin Harris, Steve Aoki and David Guetta,” explained Alan Chambers, a friend of Mr. Platt’s.
“Then Simon butts in and says ‘I don’t know boys I think they’re alright, EDM is the new underground, init’ now we never usually take much notice of what he says on account of him being a bit daft,” continued Chambers, “but considering his knowledge of dance music is based on him having seen Tron Legacy and owning a Positiva Greatest Hits CD from the nineties we couldn’t let this one go.”
“The closest Simon ever got to the underground was watching the Wombles when he was a nipper,” joked Chambers. “I’d say he was probably just repeating what he’d read in the comments section of a Youtube video so we just told him to shut his mouth, gave him a blow of a joint and sent him on his way.”
According to Mr. Platt, he knows a lot more about dance music then his friends give him credit for, insisting that he listen to all the best DJs like “Hardwell, Calvin Harris and that Asian bloke” and he especially likes “the bits in the song where it gets all high pitched and then the big drum comes in.”
