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November 14, 2014
1 min read

Kim Kardashian’s Ass Now Producing Deep House

Earlier this week Kim Kardashian set out on a one-woman mission to “break the internet” with a photograph showing her ample buttocks, now it seems that those same buttocks are also looking to break into the electronic music industry after her husband, Kanye West, revealed that her ass is now producing deep house.

West made the rather bizarre claims in response to the news that his friend and former lover Steve Aoki is to try his hand at producing the popular genre of dance music.

West, never to be outdone by someone else’s comments, said, “Hold up, hold up. Let me tell you something. Steve Aoki can make deep house but if you want to hear the greatest deep house ever made you need to check out my girl Kim’s ass, she be making some really beautiful deep house every goddamn day with that big, soft, round mutherfucker.”

“Every time my baby momma farts she produces some form of exquisite music, sometimes it’s deep house, sometimes it’s jazz but it’s always beautiful,” explained West in a manner best described as wankery. “Maybe not as beautiful as my number one hits Gold Digger and Stronger but still way more beautiful than anything anyone else has ever produced.”

News of Kardashian’s deep house producing posterior has spread quickly throughout the EDM industry with artists like Calvin Harris and David Guetta said to be “queuing up” to remix its productions.

Fellow, famous for being famous, celebrity and wannabe musical artist Paris Hilton was today asked if she would have any interest in remixing Kim’s butt’s productions, to which she replied, “What’s remixing? Isn’t that like something to do with cocktails? I don’t fix my own drinks. I leave that to bartenders. Bartenders are hot.”

In relatd news, will.i.am was left red faced and covered in shit in a New York studio today after “following through” while trying to rip off Kardashian’s production technique.

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