News emerging from the EDM industry today suggests that Skrillex and Diplo have agreed a deal in principal to adopt Canadian tearaway and wannabe EDM artist Justin Bieber.
According to sources, Skrillex and Diplo fought off fierce competition from other EDM heavyweights, such as David Guetta and Afrojack, for the adoption rights which will give the duo first preference on productions claims for all future EDM tracks released by Bieber.
“It’s a major coup in the world of EDM,” explained Jacob Bittermann of SFX Entertainment. “Bieber’s obvious commercial value makes producing his tracks one of the most sought after roles in all of EDM and it’s no surprise that Skrillex and Diplo were willing to go as far as adopting the man-child to secure the rights. They’re both going to become extremely rich as a results of this deal.”
Reports from Canada indicate that Bieber’s parents were “very accommodating” when it came to the legalities of the adoption process, with sources close to the family stating the Biebers were “more than happy” for the EDM producers to take on the responsibility of the “biggest mistake they ever made”.
“Pattie and Jeremy (Bieber) are at their wits end with Justin and his antics,” revealed neighbour and long time family friend Betty du Frein. “Although they probably know just as much about producing EDM as Skrillex and Diplo they had absolutely no interest in getting involved with Justin’s latest obsession and in the end they signed the rights to their son over for an all inclusive trip to Universal Studios and an all you can eat buffet at Red Lobster.”
As of yet Skrillex and Diplo have failed to comment on their relationship with Bieber, although, judging by hairstyle and height, it is clear that Skrillex will assume the mother’s role while Diplo will take over the fatherly duties.
Other responsibilities Skrillex and Diplo, pictured above pretending to attend a parent teacher meeting, will take on will include wiping Bieber’s ass, brushing the star’s hair and teeth, tying his laces, pre-chewing meat and giving the “birds and bees” talk.
