Resident DJs don’t actually live in the nightclub, it has emerged.
Despite being labelled as residents of a particular nightclub the DJs actually live in normal houses or flats and only spend time in the club when they’re Djing or showing their face for support on nights they’re not playing.
“That’s crazy,” exclaimed one clubber who had always thought they lived there. “I figured if they’re residents that they probably live in the club, maybe in a little room above the club where they practice Djing or in a tent in the middle of the dance floor.”
“I always figured it was a sort of phantom of the opera deal and the residents hung around in a secret chamber, only emerging once a week when it was their set time,” he added. “To find out they don’t live there is a bit of a shock, like finding out Santa’s not real or your Mum’s actually your Dad.”
Sources claim however that some residents do actually live in the nightclubs owing to the fact that they’re either down on their luck or alcoholics.
“I remember Brandon Block lived in Ministry for about 6 months in 1997,” claimed one source. “He used to pitch a tent in the middle of the dance floor and cook baked beans off a hot plate that he kept in his record bag.”
“It wasn’t like he couldn’t afford a flat or anything like that, he just liked to stay in the club because of the steady supply of booze and the fact that you were likely to find lost pills and baggies on the ground once the place emptied,” added the source. “He wasn’t actually even playing there, he’s just a weirdo.”
