Britain’s foremost association for people with an IQ less than twenty, Britain First, have announced that they are set to hold a village wide protest against the number of stick men recently appearing in Britain.
Britain First activist and Sun reader Walter “Wally” Thicke claims that “something needs to be did” about the number of “mouthy stick people turning up in Britain and telling [him] what to do”.
“I can’t believe the number of poxy stick people popping up all over Britain telling me how I should live my life,” claimed Wally earlier this afternoon. “I don’t care if your name is Bill, John, Emma or whatever and I don’t care what you do or don’t do, don’t be telling me how to live my life, I don’t go over to wherever it is you’re from and tell you how to live your life now do I?”
“I don’t know where these stick people are after coming from but I think should go back. Britain’s full,” claimed the social welfare recipient who was trying to speak while unsuccessfully keeping the contents of a Gregg’s Cornish pasty in his mouth. “Why should we be paying for those stick men to come over here and claim our benefits? There’s people like me who rely on those benefits to buy cider and tracksuits and now I’ll have to bloody share it with foreign stick men.”
“What I’m really worried about is that the stick men will come over here and start to mix with the Muslims,” continued a concerned Mr. Thicke. “What do you get if you mix a Muslim and a stick man? A Mick man. Everyone knows that a Mick man is Irish and they’re all in the IRA. They’re the worst type of terrorists because they’re white so you can’t even spot them in the street. We need to get rid of these poxy stick people now before it’s too late.”
According to Britain First analysts, the current rate of expansion in stick people numbers could see “real white Brits” outnumbered by the 15 September this year, resulting in “good honest white British people” being forced to live in “concentration camps” overseen by “evil stick people overlords”.
