A Colombian carpet factory has reportedly been destroyed by American special forces as part of the current War on Rugs.
The factory, located deep in the Amazon Rainforest, was reportedly “obliterated” and “burnt to the ground” by the American forces and is seen as a major result in the quest against international rug cartels.
“Wunderground spoke to Captain Dick Little, of the United States Marine Corp, earlier, “It feels really great to have got in there and smashed the absolute shit out of that carpet factory and give all of the locals a big old slice of American freedom pie. There’s nothing that says ‘freedom and liberty’ quite like a burning building in the middle of some shithole country.”
“As we were leaving, there were tons of people all looking really shocked and crying, what I assume were, tears of joy,” continued Captain Little. “They were shouting all of these words too, I couldn’t understand them because they weren’t in American but you could totally tell they were thanking us for getting rid of all of the rugs from their area.”
According to reports from Colombia, the carpet factory employed over seventy people and helped the local community by providing schools and medical services to its residents.
“That factory was my whole life,” claimed one clearly distraught resident. “My family have worked there for six generations and now it’s gone. I don’t know what I’m going to do. Who’s going to feed my children? How am I going to pay my rent? Why do these people feel like they need to fuck with our lives? If people want rugs, let them have rugs.”
In related news, four hundred Persian rug dealers are set to be rounded up and deported from America after President Trump revealed that Persia is now “on his list”.
