DJ Grimey S, an aspiring Drum and Bass spinner from Bristol, has embarked on a bold new marketing strategy to promote his mixes and increase his visibility in “Bristol and the larger South West area”: he records his DJ sets onto his laptop, then burns them to CD. Then he laboriously designs, print’s and attaches labels for them, before putting them into jewel cases. He then distributes them as ‘mix tapes’ – a misnomer that seems to have passed him by – to his fellow employees at Nando’s.
However, reactions at the popular casual dining outlet were mixed. Kitchen porter Raheem, 53, told reporters “I don’t really like drum and bass. I’m very much more a jungle man, this is a bit lightweight for my tastes. Also, I don’t have a CD player.”
Kitchen assistant Tasheka was doubtful of the effectiveness of a CD as marketing tool, saying “What is this fam, the dark ages?” She then proceeded to mime an amusing phone call, which she implied she had just received from “the year 2001 yeah?” in which 2001 requested their marketing technique of a promotional CD returned to them, thus implying that said marketing technique was outmoded.
Head Chef Kelvin commented: “Sick burn.”
Grimey S, real name Simon Grimes, remains undeterred and intends to continue to distribute his archaic and virtually obsolescent promotional tool to a disparate group of people who are clearly not in any way his audience. “Digital marketing is vital.” said Mr. Grimes “and CDs are digital, so I’m definitely doing digital marketing and I’m definitely going to succeed and become a famous Drum and Bass DJ any day now.” Mr. Grimes hopes to complete his probation period at Nando’s in the next month and start picking up some more shifts soon.
