Club Promoters Worried Over New “Hyperbole” Legislation

Promotors worried that Hyperbole legislation will empty clubs

All over the country, promoters are waking up to the announcement that a new set of legislation, aimed at tackling the rising use of hyperbole in the UKs club scene, will come into effect later this month after much debate in parliament.

We spoke to Greg Bonar, a promoter from Leeds, who is particularly worried about the effect the law will have on ticket sales.

“To be honest, I didn’t even know what hyperbole was until the bloke explained it, thought it sounded good, like a new type of MDMA or something like that but yeah, no, so it’s definitely not that then?”.

He continued, “Thing is, I advertise the night as ‘FUZION: The epicenter of the musical universe for one night a month; featuring world class DJs spinning the finest Techno ‘til the sun comes up’ which sounds mega doesn’t it? But with the new legislation, I’ll be forced to call it what it is. Who’s going to come to ‘Two amateur DJs rattling through an Essential Deep House Mix in a room above the old Working Men’s until 3(-ish depending on how busy it gets)’?”

Under the proposed legislation, club promoters like Greg who are, to quote the bill, ‘found to be using excessive hyperbole in order to mislead people into believing that an event is going to actually be half decent maybe but then you get there and it’s just shit, like properly shit, but you’ve already dropped your pill in the taxi and spent £12 on the ticket and well you’re out now so you’re not exactly going to just go home but honestly if you’d known it would just be a load of rugby players in big-collared shirts and their screeching birds dancing about to fucking Jay Sean, then you’d have just stopped in’ will be sentenced to a minimum of 80 hours community service and will be barred from organising events of any nature for 10,000 years.

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