A London man who has been invited to Abode In The Park by a friend is now nervous at the thought of attending a party in a homeless shelter, it has emerged.
Matt Adams, a 25-year-old clubber who would swallow a brick if you fed it to him, had never previously heard of popular club night Abode and so jumped to an incorrect conclusion when invited to a party at Abode In The Park by his friend Jordan.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’ve nothing against homeless people” assured Matt, “It’s just, I’ve never really heard of them throwing a rave.”
“I mean, how can they afford it? It’ll be shit surely. The budget for acts will be tiny, probably only some spare change or leftover sandwiches, and the only acts you can get for that kind of budget these days are the likes of Konstantin or Ten Walls.”
“And what about production? Surely a CO2 cannon is only gonna make the place colder? They’ll all be freezing, it’s the last thing they need. I wouldn’t be able to enjoy myself, I would be too guilty.”
“I was thinking maybe the best way to tackle it would be to rent a bed in the VIP area for the day, keep away from the riff-raff and all that, but I’m assuming the only beds they have in a homeless shelter are those smelly bunk beds ones, and I wouldn’t feel right drinking champagne in one of those.”
When assured that Abode in the Park is actually a decent one-day music festival in Finsbury Park with arenas hosted by Abode, Sankeys, Do Not Sleep with a VIP area that includes posh toilets, extra bars, a chill-out area and zero smelly bunk beds Matt was extremely relieved.
