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May 30, 2013
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Toddlers Stage Takeover And Hostage Crisis Of Dublin Creche

A group of under-5s have staged a violent takeover of a creche in North Dublin following RTE’s controversial documentary on creche conditions.

The children are believed to have revolted just before nap time when one of the ringleaders managed to smuggle in some milk bottles laced with Coca Cola to over stimulate the children into revolt.

The kids, who have issued a series of demands in alphabet building blocks and crayon, are claiming that they will ‘wee on one teacher an hour’ if their demands are not met.

It is understood however that the children have not yet carried out any ‘weeing’ attacks because they haven’t been adequately taught how to tell time.

The lead baby, answering only to ‘Bestest Boy’, confronted police whilst holding a terrified teacher in a headlock and pointing a nappy into her face. The frightened teacher was able to confirm to police that the nappy had been soiled with both numbers one and two.

It is understood that the children’s demands have included ice cream, Santy, a dog and no more smelly heads.

The stand off continues.

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