Representatives from the Vatican have revealed the the Church will soon add “thou shalt not play tech house” to the ten commandments.
Cardinal Alan Stones claims that “The Holy Father got news from upstairs” and the process of adding an extra commandment has already begun.
“This is pretty big news in the vatican,” Stones told Wunderground earlier. “There hasn’t been a new commandment in thousands of years. Well actually, there was that one about not abusing children that God suggested back in the sixties but the Pope at the time decided to ignore that one.”
“There’s a real buzz around the place,” he continued. “An eleventh commandment is just what the church needs to liven Christianity up a bit and, hopefully, breath some new life back into religion. Plus, dance music is really popular with young people so by branching out into dance music we’re opening ourselves up to a whole new audience.”
Sources close to Pope Francis have suggested The Holy Father is ready to announce a monthly club night featuring some of the world’s biggest house and techno artists.
“We feel a vatican club night is very close,” claimed our source. “We really want to bring house and techno to the masses at mass but not tech house, that’s shit.”
Rumours suggest the Vatican are putting together a dream team of DJs, including Ten Walls and Konstantin, who they feel best represent the Vatican’s values to head up their venture into dance music.
