A man has reportedly spent over £10K buying records on Discogs, just so he can take pictures of his packages arriving.
Simon Wilson, a barista from Hull, England, currently has a collection of over 5,000 records but still does not own a record player.
“Vinyl is, like, really cool at the moment and I’ve always been known as a bit of a bellend so I thought a good vinyl buying campaign would really boost my profile.”
“I was right too, ever since I discovered Discogs and started to buy vinyl I’ve seen a real boost in my online friend numbers.”
Friends of Mr Wilson have confirmed that he has never even listened to any of the records in his vinyl collection.
“Simon’s a total dick mate,” one acquaintance told us. “He doesn’t even know what vinyl is, I caught him trying to squeeze one into a CD player last week.”
“Plus, he just buys all of the cheapest vinyl, if you saw his collection you’d think he was a Daniel O’Donnell loving, comercial gabber DJ.”
According to reports, despite common belief, taking photos of Discogs packages arriving does not make you cool and will result in instantly increased levels of asshole.
Hey Graham, I signed up for this shitty site just to say you’re a hack for stealing my photo for this sorry piece of work. The least you could have done is ask. I hope that you’re still hacking it up in the four months since this piece has been posted.