A touring DJ has reportedly lost a very impressive two stone using nothing but the “room service and sniff diet”.
The DJ, who is currently being treated for malnutrition and various STIs, is said to have been very happy with the diest’s results.
Speaking from a hospital bed, he told us, “The room service and sniff diet is really great for shipping a few pounds before the summer starts.”
“It worked really well for me, the only problem is I was already quite badly underweight, now I’m pretty much emaciated.”
However, one slightly overweight Englishman did not agree with the DJs opinion on the room service and sniff diet, “What the fuck’s he talking about?”
“I can’t really comment on room service, but I live on takeaways and sniff every weekend and the only pounds I lose are out of my bank account. ”
Doctors have claimed the room service and sniff diet, while effective, is extremely bad for your health.
“We definitely wouldn’t recommend that people actually go on this diet,” claimed one doctor who looked like a bit of a boring cunt.
“It’s practically just a drug addiction accompanied by lots of shit food, you’d be better off starving yourself, but obviously don’t do that either.”
According to a leading celebrity weight loss expert, the only weight loss technique more effective than the room service and sniff diet is Photoshop.
