An American DJ is now considered to be the most important thing to have ever existed, in his own imagination.
Matthew Slippers, aka DJ Slip Mat, has enjoyed a limited amount of success in Berlin, Wisconsin, and is now believed to have his head so far up his own arse that he is halfway back up his own throat.
Mr Slippers was recently voted the second best DJ in Berlin, a town with a population of approximately 1,100.
“When you make it as a DJ, in Berlin, it kinda means you’re a pretty big deal,” Slippers told us earlier.
“I’ve played to sold out venues all over this town,” he said while pointing to the only bar in the town. “And I’m only getting started, this time next year I could be playing two or even three towns over.”
According to reports, Mr Slippers is currently campaigning to have the term “BC”, also known as Before Christ, changed to “BSM”, Before Slip Mat, we asked the public what they thought.
“BSM, isn’t that some sorta weird sex shit?” asked one bemused hillbilly. “I’m sure I did that there with one of my cousins a few years back.”
Reports suggest that Mr Slippers has also decided to run in the next Presidential race, with political sources confirming he has a very good chance because “Americans will literally vote for any fucking idiot”.
