A group of American athletes has vowed to take the knee during a Diplo DJ set as a protest against the current state of the music industry.
A number of high profile football and basketball stars have reportedly made plans to infiltrate a Diplo gig next week and take the knee for the entire show.
“The wheels are very much in motion for a mass protest at next week’s gig,” claimed one anonymous football player. “We’ll be covertly making our way into the show, through the entrance, with tickets, and taking the knee as soon as Diplo starts playing.”
According to sources close to the athletes, the decision to protest was made after a number of Spotify playlists, used during pre-game warm-ups, failed to produce any credible music.
“Some of the shit that’s currently out there would really make you think about the state of the world at the moment,” continued our secret footballer. “As if all of this political bullshit and gun violence wasn’t bad enough, we can’t even try to distract ourselves and escape the nonsense with some good tunes anymore.”
“America used to be a country that consistently produced great music,” he said. “But, now, all we’ve got are rappers who don’t even bother to pronounce their words, singers who should still be in school and the electronic producers that Europe didn’t want. It really is a sorry state of affairs.”
“You’re probably thinking ‘Diplo isn’t any of those things’ so, why are we choosing him, right?” our source explained. “The truth is, we just think he’s a bit of a dick so he seemed as good a target as anyone.”
If you would like to show solidarity with America’s athletes but can’t be arsed buying a ticket to see Diplo, simply log onto social media and tell him he’s a dick there.