Bloke Who Said He’d Sort Life Out After Summer Festivals Clarifies He Meant Next Summer’s Festivals

Wunderground would like to make a correction to a previous article posted in May about local raver Connor O’Neil getting his life together after this summer’s festivals, since he will actually be getting his life together after next summer’s festivals.

Four months ago Wunderground mistakenly reported that the unemployed twenty-eight-year-old had an ambitious vision for the summer ahead. The article included grandiose statements such as “this summer is gonna be the last one before I really become an adult so I’m doing festivals every weekend. In between, I’ll have plenty of time to apply to my master’s program, find a part-time job to pay the bills and join a gym to burn off the extra calories from all the drinking. I may even get my own flat since it’d be embarrassing to have roommates at this point in my life,” from O’Neil, who our reporter learned is currently sleeping on a mate’s couch for the foreseeable future.

Wunderground sought clarification to this statement upon discovering that, surprisingly, the dental hygiene school drop-out had not followed through with any of these commitments. Despite having three days each week in which he was not traveling to, or coming down from, a music festival, O’Neil had only half filled out entrance applications to both graduate school and the gym. Similarly, the only part-time income he seemed to find was selling all of his non-festival related possessions on eBay.

According to one festival-goer, who last week asked O’Neil what he planned to do in the autumn, he replied “relax I’ve got all summer to figure it out,” apparently not realising it was already September.

At this point, Wunderground realised that the ambitious summer we had reported was completely inaccurate. O’Neil provided us with this clarification: “I know I said I’d get my life sorted out after the summer festivals, but I obviously meant the summer festivals next year, so I’ve still got plenty of time to get it together. Although, it’ll be the last summer before I really become an adult so I’m gonna go all out next year!”

Wunderground regrets the error.

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Bloke Who Said He’d Sort Life Out After Summer Festivals Clarifies He Meant Next Summer’s Festivals

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