One of the future house industry’s biggest up and coming stars has admitted that he doesn’t really know what future house actually is.
In a revealing interview with Wunderground, Nathan Sparkles, the twenty-two-year-old American DJ, claimed that he just plays the music his manager tells him to play and genre never even comes into his train of thought.
“People are always telling me that I’m one of the hottest future house DJs on the circuit right now and I’m just like ‘eh, what’s future house?’. Honestly, I haven’t got a clue what it is. Do you know? I don’t think anyone does. Is it even a real thing?” Sparkles said during his interview. “I think someone just made it up and it caught on.”
“Is it just me, or does it sound exactly like EDM sounded a few years ago? Which kind of sounded like all other cheesy commercial dance music has in the past,” continued Sparkles, who was sounding less dumb by the minute. “It’s obviously just some kind of marketing ploy they use to keep people interested and it seems to be working really well.”
“I don’t really care though, I just play what I’m told to play and as long as the fans keep screaming and the pay cheques keep rolling in, I couldn’t give a shit,” admitted the DJ. “It’s not like I actually dig the music I’m playing, it’s just a means to an end for me, once I’ve made enough money from DJing I’m going to quite and follow my actual dream, recording a country and western album.”
Nancy Spencer, a self-proclaimed future house fanatic, also spoke to Wunderground, “Sparkles is so hot right now, like, totally one of the hottest DJ guys around, I love his clothes, he’s, like, totally Insta-fabulous and a grade-A babe.”
“I’m just loving the whole future house sound right now,” continued Nancy. “It’s so fresh, with a ‘ph’, I especially love all of the over the top buildups and drops, because you just don’t get that in any other genre at the minute.”
If you actually know what future house is, please call Marty McFly and get him to take it back with him, we’ve enough shit in the present as it is.