Bedroom Producer Currently Working On 19,998 Tracks

An English bedroom producer has revealed that she is very close to close to finishing some of the twenty thousand tracks she is currently working on.

Sophie Jones, a nail technician by day and tech house producer by night, claims that she’s extremely close with a number of tracks and expects to be sending them off for mastering “any day now”.

“I’ve currently got about twenty thousand tracks in production,” Sophie told us earlier. “About one percent of them are in the advanced stage, and of that one percent, about five or six of them are very, very close to being finished. I’ll probably put them out as two three-track EPs when I’ve had them mastered.”

“I’ve been producing for almost eight years now and I’ve been purposely not finishing tracks because I really wanted to find my own unique, signature sound,” continued Sophie. “At first, about five years ago, I thought that was probably deep house but now, after really taking my time with things, I know it’s definitely tech house.”

“I’ve literally just got a tiny bit of tweaking to do and I’ll finally be finished my first track,” she said proudly. “They should be ready to send off in the next few days, possibly a week, a month or two max, but I’m nearly there, I’m so close with these I can practically smell the DC10 dancefloor off them.”

Danielle Pearce, a close friend of Sophie’s, believes her friend will probably never finish a track after sitting on loads of “nearly finished” tracks for the last number of years.

“Sophie’s always just about ready to go,” Danielle told us. “Her and her music, she reminds me off my boyfriend when we’re having sex after he’s been on the coke, they try their best but they can just never finish. Honestly, I don’t think she’ll ever get a track finished at this stage.”

“She’s been a couple of days away from having one done for the last five years,” continued Danielle. “They’ve built motorways the whole way across the country in less time than it takes her to make a track. I’m not saying she should stop doing it, she obviously enjoys it, I just wish she’d stop fucking talking about it. Does my fucking tits in.”