Berghain Introduce New Summer Dress Code

Berlin’s Berghain nightclub has today announced plans to introduce a new minimalistic summer dress code in an attempt to save on their ever increasing air conditioning bill.

The club, known for its soaring temperatures and strict door policy, have used the brand new ultra small mankini, modeled above by The Only Way Is Essex’s Harry Derbidge, as a guideline for their new dress code.

Seffi Fischer, a spokesperson for Berghain, spoke about the recent announcement, “We’re expecting a really long, hot and busy summer here in Berlin and we’re always looking for ways to make it harder for people to get into the club so a new risqué dress code is just what we need.”

“Less is definitely more this year and by introducing our new dress code we’re hoping to slash our current air conditioning bill in half,” she explained. “The pictures we’ve provided are just a guideline, if people want to wear a more conventional style Speedo bottom then that’s fine but we will be introducing a blanket ban on all jumpers, jeans and T-shirts from the start of July,” she continued.

“The mankini is already significantly more than quite a few of our regular patrons usually wear anyway,” claimed Miss. Fischer, “and by making this trend compulsory we’re hoping to alienate fat and ugly people, leaving us with a room full of the sexiest clubbers Germany has to offer, which will surely reinstate our position as Europe’s, if not the world’s, greatest club.”

Lukas Bauer, a Berghain regular, claimed to like the proposed club wear and stated that it “takes balls” to wear something like that. He did however show some reservations to the lack of pockets in the mankini and suggested that it would be unfair to expect bar staff to handle money which had undoubtedly been “up someone’s arse”.