Some bloke, who no one really knows, has reportedly released another shit track on an obscure label that no one has ever heard of.
Reports suggest that this is the millionth time this has happened this year, making 2018 the most prolific year for shit music in recorded history.
“Buzzing for this release,” claimed the anonymous producer on his Facebook fan page which has over three thousand fake likes. “It’s been getting dropped by some of Torquay’s biggest house DJs all summer and it’s finally available to buy this Friday. Follow the link to pre-order your copy now,” he continued, talking to a nonexistent audience, the equivalent of shouting into your fridge.
Wunderground managed to speak with the producer, unfortunately, we’ve forgotten his name since our rather uneventful meeting, “I’ve been working behind the scenes on this track for months now bro, at least three or four hours have gone into getting the sound exactly how I wanted it.”
“I’ve been getting some really good feedback on this from some absolute legends,” claimed the producer. “Like my mate Dave, total lege, he said it was ‘really good’ and that he loved the ‘drummy bit in the middle’, then there was my other mate Trev, another absolute leg-end, who said it was ‘definitely better than some of the other shit’ I’ve made.”
“Now, I can’t wait to get a bit of feedback from the public,” he said hopefully but still not fully convinced that anyone outside of his closest circle of friends would actually buy it. “I’ve a good feeling about this one. Who knows? I’m playing in Torquay today but next year I could be playing somewhere huge, like Wolverhampton or Nuneaton.”
At the time of going to press, the producer had sold no pre-orders on his track, nor had his post on social media received any interactions from any of his so-called fans.