Bloke Who’s Been Raving For 15 Years Still Can’t Tell Difference Between House And Techno
A man who has been going to raves for approximately fifteen years has today admitted that he is still unsure about the differences between house and techno.
Andy Gallagher, know known locally as “Double Drop Andy”, claims to have been at almost a thousand raves since 2004 but, so far, has failed to pick up on the nuances between the genres.
“Me, I love all electronic music, everything from house to techno or house or techno,” Andy explained earlier this afternoon. “As long as it’s got a good beat, and the gear is good, I’ll dance to it. I couldn’t really care what it is, or who is playing it, if I can feel the grove, I’m into it.”
“Honestly, life’s too short to be worrying about what’s house and what’s techno,” Andy continued. “The way I see it is, we’ve only got about twenty five to thirty years to be going to raves and getting off our boxes so why waste time learning what’s what and putting things into boxes when we could be standing right up the front licking our eyeballs.”
“Take me for example, I’m probably about halfway through my rave career now and I’ve got by just fine without knowing jack-shit about what the DJ is playing,” admitted Andy. “To be honest with you, most of the time, I don’t even know the DJ’s name, the club could have a bloody iPhone playing tunes behind the decks and it wouldn’t make any difference to me.”
“I’ve probably had people explain the differences between house and techno to me on nights out about five hundred times by now,” Andy claimed. “But, I tend to remember fuck all about nights out so, by the time I get home, ususlaly around Wednesday morning, I’ve totally forgot whaever it is they’ve told me.”
According to reports, after hearing of Mr Gallagher’s total disregard for genres, Beatport have offered him a job in their music classification department.