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English Town Now Has More Promoters Than People

English Town Now Has More Promoters Than People

Reports are emerging that suggest a small English town is now home to more promoters than people.

The town, Barrows Gate, is located one hundred and fifty miles north of London and has recently become overrun with promoters following a large number of club closures in the capital.

Town officials have declared a “code orange emergency” and are calling for the government to help control promoter numbers in the area.

“We’ve got a population of about 1,300 people and almost 2,000 promoters,” one local told Wunderground earlier. “We already had too many promoters of our own, but then they started shutting all of the clubs down there in that London and we started getting all of their promoters coming up here too.”

“I can’t even go to the shop on a Monday morning without some flashy looking lad trying to sell me tickets, offering me free VIP upgrades or trying to put an access all areas band on my wrist,” continued the local. “It’s dead annoying, especially when you’re only popping down the Co-op for a liter of milk.

Despite the extremely high level of competition in the town, all of the promoters currently living there claim they are “killing it” and constantly “smashing” their events.

“Honestly, my events are almost nearly kind of full down here a lot of the time,” Lance Worthing, owner of one of almost eight hundred weekly tech house nights, told us. “Tickets are flying out of the door mate, I’ve still got a few early birds left for this week’s event but they’re selling fast so if you want a couple you better get them now.”

“I’m putting tens of people into the venue on a near-weekly basis, totally smashing it mate, moving up here was the best thing I’ve ever done.”

Reports suggest that the lack of available venue in the town has forced promoters to think creatively in order to find suitable places to host their parties, with club nights now taking place in a selection of barns, shops, church halls and even the local police station.

This groundbreaking piece of journalism is brought to you by How To Promote Good – Wunderground’s new comedy series & clubnight @ Hï Ibiza

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