Real Life

Christmas Parties Great For Discovering Who The Other Druggies In The Office Are

Office staff all over the country have realised that Christmas parties are a great way to find out who the other druggies they work with are.

Pete Gould, a data analyst from Slough, England, claimed that he always thought Christmas parties were “boring and shit” but has now changed his opinion after finding some like minded people at this year’s office party.

“Up until mow I was never really bothered with the Christmas party buzz,” explained Pete earlier. “I’d always just show up, have two or three pints, depending on how many were on the company, and then leave. Probably because I just presumed all of the people I worked with were boring civilians who wouldn’t know how to have a good time if their life depended on it.”

“This year things were a little bit different, this new bird, Amanda, started in accounts and I’m desperate to get into her pants so I decided to get in on the party for the long haul,” continued Gould. “I’ve got a bit of a reputation for getting pissed up and making an absolute tit of myself so I decided I’d bring a bag with me. Just to keep me sober, you get me?”

“After about five or six drinks a lot of people started to get messy,” revealed Gould, “but there was also a good group of people who, like myself, seemed to be holding it together quite well and were extremely chatty. That’s when I started to realise that it was possible some of the other people in the job were druggies, just like me.”

“Before long it was just the drug crew left and although nobody said anything we all knew each other’s game,” claimed Gould. “In between regular trips to the toilet we had a great time, we’ve even all arranged to go for drinks again next Friday. Unfortunately Amanda didn’t turn out to be one of my kindred spirits, but it’s alright, Debbie from IT let me finger her on the night bus home afterwards. So who needs Amanda?”

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