A clubber who appeared on Channel 4’s popular daytime TV show Countdown is said to be delighted after getting a few Es and some K.
Mitch Adams, thirty two, lived out one of his life’s ambitions by appearing on the show and claimed that, even though he lost by a record breaking margin, it’ll be a day he’ll remember for the rest of his life.
“It were brilliant, I’ can’t believe I was on Countdown, I’m still buzzing off it to be honest with you, well it’s either that or the E’s I just took but either way I’m buzzing,” explained Adams, a professional partier a.k.a. drug dealer. “I’ve always wanted to do it, I’m not particularly smart or anything, the best word I got was only five letters long, but I’ve been watching it since I was a nipper so it was really special for me.”
“In the very first round I got a few Es and some K, I couldn’t believe my luck,” continued Adams. “I’d prepared a very clever joke incase the opportunity presented itself. I said ‘oh lovely, pity I can’t take those it’s a good job I’ve brought my own’. I was expecting that to get a big cheer but it went down like a cheap hooker, I don’t really think the audience got it, none of them were under sixty. The funny thing is I wasn’t even joking. I really had brought my own.”
“I’d taken the pills before the show started and I’d mixed a gram of ket into the water I was drinking so by the second numbers round I was proper buzzing,” claimed Mr. Adams, who claims to be a big reader, quoting cereal boxes and shampoo bottles as his favourite literature. “It was a bit confusing, I thought I was back in school, at one stage I’m sure I put my hand up and asked Nick Hewer if I could go to the toilet but luckily he just ignored me.”
“The rest of the show is a bit hazy to be honest with you,” recounted Adams. “I know I got beaten by over eighty points but I always say it’s not about the winning it’s about how mashed you got while losing and I got really mashed. Plus I got to have a good sniff of Rachel Reilly’s stool after they stopped filming, which was worth the train fare alone.”
According to Channel 4 bosses, Mr. Adams’s appearance on Countdown will “never make the air” and the producer who vetted the contestant’s application will be facing “serious disciplinary actions”.
