The latest rumours from the water cooler suggest that Stephen from IT, who showed up for work this morning with one shaved eyebrow, definitely fell asleep at a house party last night.
While no one in the office was actually present when the eyebrow shaving happened, news from the grapevine indicates that Stephen fell asleep in his mate Tom’s house shortly after eleven o’clock last night, leaving him open to a horrendous, yet hilarious, attack on his facial hair.
“I wasn’t there myself but I do have some mutual friends with Stephen and some of them were in Tom’s gaff last night,” claimed Ann-Marie Smith from HR. “I’ve seen the whole thing on Instagram stories, he got wasted and broke the number one house party rule; don’t fall asleep.”
“As far as I’m concerned, he got what he deserved and he’s lucky to get away with just one eyebrow,” continued Anne-Marie. “I once went to a house party where someone’s entire head and face got shaved, then we tried that trick where you dip their hand in cold water and they piss themselves. It didn’t work so we just poured the water over their crotch, woke them up and told them they pissed themself anyway.”
John, Stephen’s IT colleague, claims that falling asleep at a house party is “classic Steve behaviour” and he wasn’t surprised to see him arrive for work with only one eyebrow.
“He’s bloody useless so he is,” John told us. “The lad would get pissed on a barman’s fart, he can only hack two or three beers, maximum. We had drinks here in the office before our Christmas party last year and Steve fell asleep in the bogs after a couple of mulled wines. He was still in there, unconscious, when the cleaners arrived in the following morning.”
“He hasn’t said a word to anyone all morning,” John continued. “He’s got a baseball cap pulled right down on his head, I think he thinks no one has noticed but the whole office is talking about it. I’m sure he’ll see the funny side of it eventually, which is definitely the side without the eyebrow.”
So far, Stephen has yet to comment on the missing eyebrow, although it is believed that he has sworn bloody revenge on every person who was at the house party, more on this as we get it.