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Conspiracy Theorist Claims Moby’s Head Is Flat

Conspiracy Theorist Claims Moby’s Head Is Flat

One of the world’s leading conspiracy theorists, Jim Corr, has audaciously claimed that the retired American electronic music producer Moby’s head is flat.

Corr, best known for being the “ugly sibling” from the Irish band The Corrs, made the claims via social media late Tuesday night.

“I’ve been studying images and checking all of the angles for months now,” Corr revealed on his Facebook page. “All of the evidence points to one thing and one thing only, Moby’s head is 100% flat. Pay no attention to what NASA or the mainstream media tell you. There is no doubt in my mind whatsoever, the man is flat headed.”

Moby, best known for throwing his dummy out of his pram on a near daily basis since Donald Trump was elected, has denied the accusations made against him.

“Of course my head isn’t round,” Moby said dismissively. “I know what’s happened here. This Jim Corr guy is obviously some sort of meat-eating monster and the toxins from all of the animal flesh he’s consuming have turned his brain to mush. This isn’t a calculated claim against the spherical nature of my head, it’s the insane ramblings of a man ruined by meat.”

However, despite Moby’s protestations, some members of the public feel there may be some truth behind Corr’s claims.

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Steven, a thirty-year-old from Middlesbrough, England, spoke to Wunderground, “Is he really related to those three girls? Really, The Corrs, the band from the 90s? Fucking hell, how did he end up looking like someone melted Michael Flatley’s face when all of his sisters look like supermodels?”

“Any man who’s grown up in a house with three girls like that must know what he’s talking about,” continued Steven. “And, when you think about it, you always see Moby from the same angle, his head could quite easily be flat.”

While we may never know the truth about Moby’s head, one thing that is clear is Jim Corr was very lucky to have three beautiful and talented sisters, otherwise, he’d just be some mad goose talking nonsense on the internet.

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