Potential British Prime Minister Jeremy Corbyn has confirmed that, should he be elected, he plans on softening the nation’s current stance on passing the Dutchie to the right-hand side.
During a campaign speech in Brighton, Corbyn claimed that people in a modern Britain should be allowed to decide what way they wish to pass the Dutchie.
“As far as I’m concerned, the insistence of passing the Dutchie to the left-hand side is little more than a Tory slur campaign to devalue left wing politics,” Corbyn claimed during his speech. “Maybe in the sixties or seventies it was acceptable to always pass the Dutchie to the left but this is modern Britain and I don’t want to be told where to pass my Dutchie and you shouldn’t either.”
“If I’m elected as Prime Minister, the people of Britain will be free to pass their Dutchie left, right, up, down, backwards or forwards, you will be the makers of your own destiny and free to do as you wish with your Dutchie, even of that means not passing it at all,” continued Corbyn. “And to prove that I’m true to my word, my first act as Prime Minister will be to pass the Dutchie to Theresa May and any other right-wing politician who’s willing to smoke it.”
An undecided voter, and keen pot smoker, Pete Worthing, claims that Corbyn’s policies are starting to win him over.
“I’ve still not made up my mind but I really like what I’m hearing coming from Corbyn,” he told us earlier. “Like, I’ve often got caught on the right hand side of the Dutchie and, depending on how many people are sitting to the left, you might not get a drag of it at all so I’d be well up for a Britain where getting the Dutchie passed on the right-hand side was a possibility.”