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David Guetta Falls Asleep On Stage After Becoming Bored With His Own Music

David Guetta Falls Asleep On Stage After Becoming Bored With His Own Music

Reports from Ibiza have claimed that French lawsuit impressario, some-time DJ and hair grower, David Guetta accidentally fell asleep live on stage after suggestions that he “became bored with his own music”.

Witnesses claim that halfway through David’s predictable set of bland EDM-pop and sugar-coated-shit remixes the DJ passed out – landing onto his mixing desk and falling asleep, prompting technicians to quickly cut off the music to pretend that David had been DJing when he fell.

“At first I thought that maybe Guetta had a drug episode like the one that saw him stare through the fabric of space-time at the mundanity of his own existence at Tomorrowland or that maybe his sodden hair had become too heavy for his long neck and weighed him down,” claimed one witness, Gary Dowling, a 24 year old hairdresser from Luton who came out to Ibiza out of boredom and a crippling lack of identity back in England.

“But once the music stopped and a loud, almost Gallic, snoring sound began to emit from David’s nose everyone guessed that he’d just grown as bored as the audience were and fallen asleep,” he added.

Gary claims that Mr. Guetta, seen here mid-tantrum after being woken up, then proceeded to curl up into the foetal position atop the decks before sucking his thumb and falling into a deep sleep which was only interrupted by the DJ moaning softly in his sleep and drooling “quite aggressively over the – thankfully unplugged – DJing equipment”.

“It was plain to everyone there that he was just bored with pumping out the same overproduced formulaic tat over and over again,” continued Gary. “You have to pity him, he’s ploughed this furrow as one of the world’s biggest EDM stars and so is stuck having to play the same commercial garf year in year out without any break, I think that’d drive anyone to boredom and worse.”

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“Maybe that’s why he went a bit mental at Tomorrowland,” he added.

Spokespeople for Mr. Guetta have denied accusations that David fell asleep out of boredom and claimed that he was suffering from exhaustion caused by a hectic game of “money fighting” with Avicii and the strain of having to look himself in the mirror every day.

“David didn’t fall asleep on stage, he was merely resting his eyes for a moment, lost his balance and fainted onto the mixer for several minutes during which time he drooled and snored – like normal,” concluded the spokesperson’s statement. “It’s widely known that David was playing a mix of Martin Garrix’s Animals and his own track Lovers in the Sun when he collapsed and who could possibly be bored with hearing those totally original, in no way derivative and dated sounding tracks.”

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