Berlin-based DJ and producer Dax J has surprised his fans by cancelling his current tour schedule and announcing a sudden tour of Australia.
According to the artist’s manager, Dax is looking for a change of scenery after recently upsetting approximately twenty-three percent of the planet’s population by doing something very silly in a nightclub in Tunisia.
“Dax feels like he needs a little bit of a break from mainstream living,” claimed manager Paul Jones. “Things have gotten a little bit heated after the Tunisia incident and he feels that a tour of Australia’s outback is probably the best outcome for his current situation. He’s flying out tomorrow, he’ll be going the long way round as we decided a stopover in Dubai probably wasn’t the best idea at the moment.”
“He’s worked really hard to put this Australian tour together in such a short space of time,” explained Jones. “We’ve arranged twenty dates, all of which will be held in secret locations, in some of the country’s most sparsely populated regions, and announced exactly five minutes before the show begins.”
“So, if you happen to be floating around the the back arse of nowhere in central Australia, be sure to keep an eye out on for the announcements on Dax’s socials,” he continued. “These are quite possibly the only gigs Dax will be playing for the rest of the year and they’re sure to be the most exclusive shows since Berghain introduced their secret handshake.”
Reports suggest that Dax hopes to win over the Australian public by constantly reminding them their whole society is the spawn of European criminality and that a dingo ate their babies.