EDM duo Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike today announced that they’d no longer be working together, claiming that the split is a result of creative differences between the two – which insiders have suggested is code meaning that neither are creative.
Reports from close to the two, pictured here showing a photographer where the sky is, insist that the split is not an end to their friendship or careers and that “they’re totally talented musicians and probably have lots of ideas for more EDM songs that go build, drop, build over an obnoxious beat” and that, despite what right thinking people know to be true, “they’ve got more creativity in their little fingers than most people have in their whole hands”.
A spokesperson for the duo, suspected to be Mike disguising his voice using a jumper wrapped around the phone, called the Wunderground office and has said that the split is “entirely Dimitri’s fault” and that “Mike was carrying him for the whole time they were together” and that Mike is the “real creative force behind the band in much the same way that Ringo was for The Beatles or that other bloke whose name no-one knows from The Black Eyed Peas is for The Black Eyed Peas”.
“Mike is a creative musical visionary,” claimed the spokesperson who refused to provide a name but when pressed gave the name Ike. “Just off the top of my head some of the creative things he’s done and will probably continue to do and that are in no way blasé or trite include – signing his name in joined up writing, smoking a cigarette with his toes, developing a shtick where he throws cakes at audience members, having tattoos and being topless.”
The spokesperson was also keen to deny reports that the split was due to the fact that their ghost producer was becoming increasingly unhappy with his meagre earnings, daily bowl of cabbage soup and began to find it interminable writing the same terrible music over and over again in a fate, which he has described as, “worse than death” – which, being alive, isn’t really a comparison he can make but nevertheless provides an insight into just how unhappy he was, i.e. very.
Dimitri, according to Ike, was unavailable for comment but friends suggest he is glad that the duo is over and that he’s “made as much money from EDM as he could and will now enjoy his money in obscurity”.
“I don’t think we, or they rather, will ever make music together again. Mike has just moved so far past Dimitri that Dimitri is now that to Mike,” concluded Ike while holding his two fingers apart very slightly to indicate “not much at all” which didn’t translate well over the phone but was understood regardless. Ike ended the call there claiming he had to help Mike write what he termed “EDM’s Bohemian Rhapsody” even though Mike “totally doesn’t need help from anyone including ghost producers, his Mum and Dimitri”.