In breaking news, United Airlines have reportedly issued a “blue alert” after DJ Snake was spotted on a plane.
According to witnesses, the French DJ was spotted boarding a domestic flight between Chicago and Miami, communications with the aeroplane have since been lost.
A spokesperson for United Airlines had this to say, “At approximately three thirteen this afternoon, we received a message from a distressed member of cabin crew on flight UI235 travelling from Chicago to Miami. According to the crew member, a certain DJ Snake is loose in the fuselage and is currently wreaking havoc with the passengers. We do not have any other information at this point but would like to assure the public that Samuel L. Jackson has been contacted.”
Wunderground spoke to reptile expert Liz Eard earlier, “Well, as a herpetologist, my expertise really lies with amphibians and reptiles, I don’t really like EDM or DJs so I couldn’t accurately say what sort of trouble DJ Snake could cause on the airplane, the only information I could possibly give you would be speculation or hearsay.”
“But, I do love a bit of speculation and hearsay so I’ll go right on ahead and give you some,” she continued. “I listened to one of DJ Snake’s mixes earlier and, let me tell you, it is terrible. If he starts playing any of that shit on the plane I’m certain he’ll bring it down. Also, he seems to have a very prominent jaw so, I’d imagine if he starts chewing on cables he’s going to do some real damage.”
“My advice for the passengers on flight UI235 is to just ignore DJ Snake, he’s probably just as scared of them as they are of him.”
