An online survey has found that the ability to DJ is now the least important part of being a DJ.
The survey, aimed at DJs between the ages of eighteen and twenty-three, found that almost 90% of young DJ consider learning how to mix tracks as a “bit of a waste of time” and something that “only old people do”.
“I’m a DJ myself mate,” claimed one twenty-one year old bedroom DJ. “I haven’t got any of the gear, yet, but I’ve been doing the business on social media since I was sixteen. So far, I’ve got over twenty thousand followers across all of my platforms so I’m a pretty big deal when compared to other DJs in my age group.”
“I’ve also been spending a lot of time in front of the mirror practicing my jumping up and down, throwing my hands in the air and ignoring people who try to shake my hand or talk to me,” continued the DJ. “I showed my mum some of my moves a couple of weeks ago and she said I was one of the best DJs she’s ever seen.”
“Over the next couple of months, I’ve got some really big decisions to make,” revealed the future star. “I need to decide whether I’m going to be underground or commercial, so basically rich or cool, then decide if I want to be a happy go lucky free spirit type or a bit of a bad boy. Then, I’ve to make the most important decision in any DJ’s career; black t-shirt or floral shirt.”
“After I’ve done all of this, I’ll finally get my hands on some equipment and learn how to mix, although I really don’t see the point when there’s computer programs that’ll practically do it for me,” he said reluctantly. “Nobody actually cares about the music anyway, all they want to do is take videos of the DJ and update their Instagram, that’s why I’ve decided to call myself #DJ, I’m gonna be all over social media.”
In related news, Steve Aoki is believed to feel a lot less guilty about having never learned how to DJ after hearing the survey’s results.