DJs Now Spending 50% Of Time Jumping On The Spot

Reports emerging from the electronic music industry today suggest that DJ’s are now spending an average of fifty percent of their time jumping on the spot.

The news comes as little surprise as the number of DJ’s who spend their time in the DJ box jumping on the spot with their hands in the air instead of mixing has become clearly visible through the means of live streaming from all of the major festivals.

According to the world’s number one DJ, Hardwell, jumping has become a must have skill in the competitive world of EDM DJing.

“You wouldn’t believe the amount of jumping that goes on at festivals these days,” explained Hardwell during an interview with Wunderground. “There is so much! There are certain DJ’s, who I’m not going to name, who have been taking steroids to ensure they can keep jumping longer and higher than anyone else for the duration of their sets.”

“I seen Dimitri Vegas and Like Mike at Electric Daisy Carnival last week and they didn’t stop jumping once the whole time they were there,” continued Hardwell, who claims to be able to jump over one meter high from a standing position. “They jump more than anyone because they get bored on stage because they have no mixing to do but they’re so committed to their act that they never stopped jumping for the who festival.”

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“Every time they got a drink they’d just spill them all over themselves because they couldn’t stop bouncing, at one point they tried to have a bit of spag ball for dinner but Dimitri ended up wearing most of it on his head,” claimed Hardwell. “Those guys always go to the bathroom together too so I don’t even want to imagine what happened when they needed a pee.”

“Now that I’ve been crowned the undisputed king of EDM, I don’t really have to concentrate on my jumping as much,” revealed Hardwell, who list Skippy the Bush Kangaroo as his biggest musical influence. “Which is really great because it allows me to dedicate more time to the important parts of my set, like pointing, nodding appreciatively and reaching for the lazars.”