Reports have emerged today which claim that that girl at the party with whom you were flirting all night was actually only flirting with you for your coke.
Several witnesses have claimed that the girl, 24-year-old Alice Brunt, only ever shows an interest in lads who have bags of drugs in their possession.
“Yeah, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her laugh at the jokes told by a lad without coke or place a gentle hand on the arm of a guy who didn’t have pills,” claimed one witness. “It could be a gorgeous looking guy or a portly looking short ugly cunt, it doesn’t matter, once he has drugs then he’s an option.”
“Which, in fairness to her, is pretty non-discriminatory,” he added.
Further witness reports suggest that that time when she took your number and made tentative plans to meet up was merely a ploy to keep you interested and ensure a steady supply of bumps for herself.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t ring you or respond to plans you made with her,” he concluded. “Unless you subtly mention that you’ve got a few bags on you.”
