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Donald Trump Cancels Four Tet’s Work Visa

Donald Trump has responded to Four Tet’s updated Spotify list by cancelling the Londoner’s American work visa.

Four Tet, real name Keiran Hebden, updated his playlist with twenty eight hours of music made by artists from countries on Trump’s banned list.

“There are two types of people in the world,” Trump claimed yesterday. “My supporters and those who want to see this great country burn, if you’re not with me you’re against me and this Four Tet guy has made his allegiance very clear, so he can kiss goodbye to his American privileges and stay out in the cold with the rest of his Muslim friends.”

“If he wants to make playlists featuring this burka wearing, Allahu Akbar, curry music that’s up top him but he won’t be playing it here in America where we listen to music that isn’t trying to attack our freedom,” continued the President. “He’s also been put on my watch list, which is going to make it extremely difficult for him to travel to any of our ally countries, let’s see how the little cunt likes that.”

“Nobody makes a fool of Donny, just ask Vince McMahon what happens when people try to make me look dumb,” he continued Smugly. “Plus, I’ve got CIA agents on my side now too, there’s an extremely long list of people who are going to get their comeuppance very, very soon, don’t you worry about that. Once I get even with all of these douches, America will be great again, for me.”

Wunderground attempted to contact Four Tet for comment on the issue but he was unavailable. Sources close to the electronic musician suggest he is currently assembling a playlist of songs made by ovulating women in support of the next women’s march.

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