The world’s wildest party brand, elrow, is set to crack down on a gang of illegal face painters who have been operating at a number of their recent parties.
Bosses at elrow, who take their brand on tour all over the world, are believed to have identified the gang and will now attempt to completely rid their shows of all illegal activities.
Julia Ramires, a spokesperson for elrow, spoke to Wunderground earlier, “In recent months, we’ve seen an influx of illegal enterprises happening at our parties,” she explained. “Things like backdoor face painting, people selling defective party poppers and black-market inflatables have become all too familiar at elrow.”
Reports suggest that elrow have hired a number of undercover investigators in an attempt to infiltrate the gang and take them down once and for all.
We spoke to Manuel, not his actual name, who will be posing as an illegal face painter at an elrow show in Dublin this weekend.
“This weekend is going to be very dangerous,” he told Wunderground apprehensively. “Some of these gang members are known to dress as pirates and carry inflatable swords and, while that might not sound particularly scary, some of those inflatables could quite easily take an eye out if they hit at the right angle so I’ll have to have my wits about me.”
“The most important thing is that we keep the public safe, if that means I have to put my life on the line then I’m willing to do it,” continued Manuel. “I’ll get this scum out of elrow if it’s the last thing I do.”
In related news, Customs Officers at Dublin Airport are believed to have intercepted half a ton of heart-shaped confetti, destined for elrow, with a street value of over €200, more on this as we get it.
