Amsterdam’s elrow Town festival is to be upgraded to a city after the Spanish party brand petitioned to have the Absolute Pink Cathedral recognised as an official cathedral.
Speaking on behalf of elrow, a man dressed as a large bottle of beer confirmed the recognition of the cathedral means the festival now qualifies for a city charter.
“It’s a great day for elrow and the people of elrow Town,” Barry the beer bottle told us. “We’ve actually had the cathedral onsite for quite some time now but because it wasn’t connected to any particular religion it wasn’t recognised. So, we decided to start our own row-ligion, Row-stafarianism, and now we’re a city.”
“We’ll still be called elrow Town, to avoid any unneeded confusion,” claimed the man dressed as a beer bottle, while pretending to smoke a giant inflatable spliff. “We want to keep everything just the way it is, but with all of the added bonuses that come with city status. More inflatables for everyone!”
When asked about the impact becoming a city might have on the festival, Barry (not his real name) proceeded to do a front tumble, throw a pocketful of confetti in our reporter’s face and smack him over the head with an inflatable giraffe, before running away in convulsions of laughter.
According to sources within Tripadvisor, just days after receiving its charter, elrow Town has already been included in their “Top 5 Cities To Visit” guide, and is expected to top the list after the upcoming festival.
“People just seem to love elrow Town,” claimed one Tripadvisor insider. “We can safely say it’s the only place on Earth where we’ve seen someone giving the local jail a five-star rating. In fact, the only negative comments we’ve had about the whole of elrow Town is that the sound system in the ambulance service is too damn loud. I don’t know what’s going on in this city, but I sure as hell want to go.”
If you want the chance to convert to Row-stafarianism or you’d just like to see what life in the world’s newest city is like, you can check out this year’s last installment of erlow Town in Havenpark, Amsterdam, on Saturday 7 September, tickets are available here now.